News Flash!  Princesses get older and wiser too!

“ONCE UPON A TIME” Isn’t that how most fairy tales begin?  Once upon a time….and  they usually end with “AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!”  There’s only one problem with fairy tales; they’re bullshit!  A more befitting ending would be “AND THEY ALL LIVED!”  Sadly if you watch the news or read the papers, you know, on occasion, they don’t all live.  Every now and again, there’s a tragedy, and probably more often than one would want to believe. More often than not, they don’t live happily ever after, if at all. Fairy tales are just that; tales directed at little girls that cause them to grow up with unrealistic expectations.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with expecting good things.  I do believe thoughts are things and emotionally healthy people are usually optimistic and positive.  You may indeed get exactly what you expect and no more.  Expect the worst, and you will probably experience it.  But that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to walk around believing in fairy tales and prince charming.  If prince charming does exist, there’s a good chance there is already a Mrs. Charming.

Often we have these ridiculous expectations that our lives should resemble a fairy tale or that it fit into society’s perfect picture frame.   A house surrounded by a white picket fence, two kids, Volvo wagon and Honda sedan or for some an iron gate, circular driveway, a Mercedes and a Range Rover.

I’m not certain or making accusations, but perhaps just maybe women are to blame. Maybe a lot of women are too desperate for that white picket fence or that iron gate.  While we see the white picket fence as security, maybe men see that same fence as a cage!  Perhaps we need slow up construction and when it’s time to put up the fence, let him do it!  There’s a good chance, if he builds it, it may last a little longer. (And no that doesn’t mean we women are incapable of building things! Well. I’m not, I can construct a mean salad or a fabulous meal, but don’t ask me to read a manual or build some shit) Plus, he’ll feel needed.  Rumor has it that this is apparently important.

I could be wrong. And before you men get your boxers in a bunch, I’m by no means suggesting that only men stray or violate commitment.  I myself am guilty.  I’ve heard men refer to their situations as a bait and switch.  “She liked sex before I married her!”  Maybe she still likes sex.  Maybe she just doesn’t like it with you!  Maybe she never did.  We tend to put on blinders when it’s convenient.  The problem exists, we just ignore it or think we are the cure.  Pure arrogance!  Perhaps she thought it would get better and just settled figuring she would just have to sacrifice her sexual needs for companionship and all of the other benefits the relationship had to offer.  (and yes, this applies in reverse or in any other situation) Or maybe it’s time for you to step up your game, learn a new trick…try something, anything new! And ladies, stop waiting for him to initiate.  Everyone wants to feel desired.  If your partner isn’t making you feel that way, chances are good, the need will be met elsewhere!

I think that women do get bored faster and while we may not stray, we might instead just avoid sex!  (and later our hormones and bodies start to play tricks on us but what’s the excuse now?)  I mean most of us have watched a re-run of a really good episode of a really good show and laughed as if we had never seen it before.  We’ve seen it before, but it’s still good.  It was well done and someone really creative is responsible.  No one wants to watch re-runs of a bad show.  We turn the channel to see if something better is on, something we’ve haven’t seen before!  You no more want to have boring predictable sex than you want to watch the same tv show night after night, after night!  And if you’re smart, you won’t spend 20 years faking orgasms…you’ll attempt to have some real ones.  If you have the right partner (AND COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS!!!! MORE ON THIS LATER. YOU CAN PROBABLY CREATE THE RIGHT PARTNER!) it will make you both happier, nicer people!  You might even like each other!

I do believe relationships work better when both parties are happy and satisfied without either party having to put on some sort of academy award-winning performance.  And that’s not to say that you still won’t become bored eventually.  As my friend always says, one thing for sure and two things for certain…(actually what does that mean?) Everything new, becomes old! EVERYTHING!  Okay, except Benjamin Button.  He went, like backwards, right?  Who knows? I could be wrong, but maybe not. It is time to do some research.

If you’re inside the castle and want to offer up any tid bits of insider info, feel free to share! Unlike the stock market, it’s not illegal!