I wonder if there is a back gate…..

Let’s talk about marriage.  Let’s start with the Wikipedia definition of marriage.  It defines marriage as a legal contract between individuals “that creates kinship”.  It goes on to list the reasons people marry, which include-legal, social, emotional, economical, spiritual and religious.  While it doesn’t specifically mention Love, I’m assuming that falls under emotional or in some cases, spiritual.   Maybe not. Hey, I’m just throwing it out there for discussion. Again, my two cents!  It goes on to say its purpose is to establish a “legal”nuclear family unit, “legal”of children and creates “legal”obligations between involved individuals, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada.    Is it just me, but does the repeated use of the word “legal” scare anyone else?

So I decided to conduct a series of interviews, straight, gay, heterosexual married men and single women, which by the way, seem to outnumber the married men tenfold.  With the high number of high-profile cases of adultery, it’s now a daily headline!  Of course, you know, no men cheated until Bill Clinton…Cheated?  I hate that word.  I’ll explain later.  I believe I read somewhere Bill was the first man to commit adultery!  Yup, saw it on the internet, so it had to be true.  And according to most men and high school students, oral sex isn’t really sex.  “It was just oral sex”, so it’s not cheating anyway, duh!   (See ladies you can cross at least three guys off your list!) “He did not have sexual relations with that woman!”

The percentage of marriages that end in divorce grows every year and people are now divorcing after 30-40 years of marriage! Huh? Not sure what the point of that is…I guess it depends, but if you are miserable after 40 years, you were probably miserable at 10 and over-stayed by about 30 years!  I know too many women that have been involved in long-term affairs with married men and then there’s the unfortunate statistic of knowing only two men who have not at one point or another, had a fling or affair!  (not sure what the rule is that determines whether it’s a fling or affair?) And considering I’m a middle-aged woman, it’s a sad statistic.  Okay, I did meet one, after telling him what I was writing about, but I’m chalking him up as a freak of nature, although with his permission, I’ll fill you in later on his comments.

Okay, so as I was saying before being rudely interrupted by the guy I’ll call “the exception.”  I was once told, by a girlfriend, that it’s because I personally have made poor choices and the men I know are not “evolved” as humans, because “evolved” men do not cheat! Well,  Miss Missy, I guess that means that every woman I know has also made poor choices and selected only “un-evolved”men!  But I’m not talking about men I’ve been involved with or just my circle of friends; I’m talking co-workers, employers, friends, relatives, and complete strangers I’ve met out and about. (or overheard) Is she suggesting I’m an un-evolved, loser magnet and that I attract only loser women as friends, who make poor choices and attract these un-evolved men? Or could it be that monogamy is unnatural and the exception, rather than the rule?  Is it possible that women are more naturally monogamous then men?  Doesn’t seem so these days! (Insert big eye emoji here) Or, are we so arrogant that we feel that we can outsmart human nature?  Let’s consider the whole hunter situation?  You know, that need for men to pursue and hunt being biological.   A male friend once gave me this advice: (yes, same guy)

“You have to let a man chase you until you catch him”.  Of course, he also told me the only thing better than good p—ssy, was new p—ssy!  Regular Shakespeare, this guy is!

Is perhaps marriage an outdated concept?  Is social progress to blame?  The evil internet?  Cell phones!!!! Or is it possible that monogamy is perhaps, just a myth?

So, I’m going to sit my ass at the gates of Happily Ever After and speak to some of these Prince Charming guys.  I mean to some woman he is Prince Charming.  (just might not be you!) Or at least was.  I really want to find out what’s going on behind this gate!  How happy is Happily Ever After?

What do you think?