Cougar in Training

Same person, same face and body…. till death do us part? Seriously? Never before has monogamy been such a hot topic. Way back, you married for life and if you were a man it was pretty much acceptable to have a little something going on the side. Wasn’t a surprise at all for a man to have a whole other family cross town, or as I remember a recent story of a class mate, across the fence! How’s that for convenience?   And not for nothing, you did have that whole short life span thing working for you. People didn’t live as long, so till death do us part, was not quite as long as it is now!

Wikipedia…love it, describes Monogamy as having only one sexual partner at a time. So, what we have now is often referred to as serial monogamy.   We have a series of short term, of maybe long term (supposed) sexually exclusive relationships consecutively during our life span. And again, we don’t have those high mortality rates now to basically accomplish what divorce now does for us, or in the case of unmarried committed couples, the break up! Now we simply get divorced and move onto to the next adventure! Perhaps current life expectancy is to blame! Serial monogamy is basically a commitment for a limited period of time. A limited “engagement”. Maybe we should change those vowels from “till death do us part”, to “until I get bored with you”. “Until the show is over and the curtain comes down!”

Monogamy, monotony…. the words sure do look alike. Of course some have found a way to deal with the issue. Key parties and wife swapping are making a come back I hear.   Hell isn’t there a wife swapping reality show on? I once had a guy try to pick me up at a bar in NYC. Several times I saw this guy and he would flirt with me. It wasn’t until I saw him again at this bar with his wife and he was still flirting with me in front of her, that I realized he was trying to bring me home for her!

Extra marital sex and mistresses are actually accepted in some cultures. Many otherwise monogamous societies allow extramarital sex under certain conditions, like its okay if it’s your brother in law. Which could work, if he’s hotter than his brother! You know the pregnant looking one your chose! Some allow multiple marriages. Maybe they know something we don’t know.

And why is it that we have not learned anything from the high profile sexual scandals? Do we really believe that only celebrities and politicians cheat? These are the people we view as having it all, yet they always seem to want more.  Regular ass folks are cheating too.  It just doesn’t make front-page news or the internet. All comes down to desire and humans (yes, I believe, more often men….sorry….my two cents! However, new evidence does suggest that women are the same) desire variety and excitement. Why the hell else would anyone jump out of an airplane or swim with sharks? Most of us in life are always grasping at something just beyond our reach. We are trying to get that first high like a crack head. Thrill seeking. And when the thrill is gone at home, we’re cheating.

And why don’t we talk about it? Why is the subject of affairs something we avoid discussing. I overheard two guys at an outdoor café saying, “No matter how smart or gorgeous she might be, some guy, some where is sick of her shit! Or just plain bored with her!” No, we don’t want to talk about it or to believe it could happen to us.  It’s a huge mistake to believe that only people with personal weaknesses have affairs. Roosevelt, JFK, Thomas Jefferson, Prince Charles, Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby, Martin Luther King, Jim Bakker…hell, let’s throw in Kobe, Magic and Tiger just to mix it up a bit! One would ask why these people would risk so much. These are highly intelligent people. So why do they do it? Duh? I already told you! Pay attention. Only one head works at a time. Please refer to last post!

I’m thinking biology has a little bit to do with it.  Psychology…it could be a natural urge or need to conquer….a.k.a known as ego. Let me see if I can still “pull”. The thrill of the chase! Is it simply the desire for new and diverse experiences? Or maybe a bunch of kids ruined the party. Some men no longer see their wives as sexy or sex objects. She becomes mom and they address her as such. She stops being Nancy, and becomes “go ask your Mother” or “he’ll even call her Mom. Kids! Oh well, say good bye to fun and the ability to be spontaneous and say hello to routine, mechanical, scheduled and timed, and I’m wagering, boring events. Skip foreplay, the wash cycle is almost over!

Perhaps fear of aging, low self esteem, feelings of inadequacy, resentment, fear of intimacy, boredom, feeling trapped, and sexual entitlements are factors to consider. Boredom is probably a major factor to explore.   Let’s face it; there is thrill in the chase.

At the end of the day, I believe that the feelings of love have cycles. Like most things, these feelings change and evolve. During these phases we may view the relationship as broken. But if it’s broken, do we try to fix it or just put it out with the trash on Sunday night?

Just remember, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure!  You really want to share your booty?  See! Your mind went there?