Divorced?  Or never married?  Either way they’re looking at me with the side eye!

A few days ago, I laughed all the way to my car leaving the supermarket after noticing this magazine on display.   It was called Divorce Magazine. And it was free. I’m guessing because the market of divorced folks is so large, that they can make a bundle from advertising….at least enough to give the magazine away.  The next day I noticed a huge billboard that said, “Divorce $349! NO spouse signature required!” Could you be divorced and not know it?

The purpose of marriage seems to shift with age.  In my first official interview, I was told by a middle-aged man, “I no longer want to marry a woman I’m head over heels in love with. I don’t want to be infatuated.   I want a partner, a companion and no drama!”  He also shared with me his first marriage was because she had a dental plan!

In the hit Nancy Meyers film (and one of my favs) “It’s Complicated,” currently in heavy rotation on Showtime, the 25 year marriage ends when Alec Baldwin leaves his successful and beautiful wife, (I mean who does that? Yes, that is sarcasm!) Meryl Streep for a younger woman only to realize he now appreciates what he left behind. The phrase “it’s complicated” however, sums up quite nicely, the institution of marriage in general. Marriage has evolved. While we desire to hold onto the romantic ideas of marriage, defined as everlasting monogamy and life long commitment, it has become increasingly difficult.   Like banks is the institution of marriage “too big to fail”?

What is the reason behind the declining marriage rates and the increase in divorces?  Is it that society now accepts divorce?   Are we just tired of playing the roles of happily married?   Are feminist to blame?   Is a woman’s desire to be self-sufficient the problem? Do we all just want the best of both worlds and is it impossible to find and/or keep?  We want traditional and modern at the same time.  Madonna/whore syndrome? Maybe we want hybrid cars and hybrid mates….

Social norms are changing. We now have a social transition vs. the fairy tale.   I don’t know but sounds like two different trains on the same track to me.  I just can’t decide if they are going in two different directions or bound to crash and burn!  Giving up on the concept of traditional marriage is a threat to our make-believe, happily ever after game plan.  We would much rather risk believing that the love is eternal.  Sadly, when it turns out that this is not the case there is devastation.

Wishing or hoping for happily ever after should probably not mean expecting that happiness to be with one person for the rest of your life.