HUMPTY DUMPTY

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king’s horsemen and all the king’s horsewomen (because there would be king’s horsewomen in this day and age!) couldn’t put his ass back together again. Not quite how it goes, but the ending is the same. Not good!

Don’t let your marriage end like that. Don’t end up on the floor in pieces. You better start humptying because your man will dumpty someplace else.

Statistics show we are not humptying. My research shows that many marriages are sexless unions. Many couples have sex less than ten times a year!!!!!

It appears that women seem to bear a large part of the blame. The kids and the profession are at the top of the list, with sex coming in last place. (Or not) Then we are devastated when they cheat on us.   Are men somewhat to blame here? Probably. I’m sure there are situations where he can step up and do more to help the wife. Lift the load so he can….nevermind. Share parenting and household duties more equally. She works like you do buddy and you enjoy the dual income household, but there is a price to pay. You can’t expect to have a professional partner, a housewife and a sex goddess! Just doesn’t work.

But, here’s the deal ladies. Men in sexless marriages cheat to remain in sexless marriages. I mean, it’s not the only reason they do, but I’m guessing it’s a major factor. Some are just needy greedy assholes. That being said, you don’t get to make all the decisions about sex. You choosing not to have sex is you choosing for your partner not to have sex and to be okay with that. How long do you really think that’s going to fly?

Healthy people have sex. Nothing lonelier for a man or a woman than to lay next to someone who doesn’t express desire for them. The need to connect is very important and feeling rejected sucks! It leads to resentment and anger and sometimes to the point of no return. It’s not just sex. It’s a connection.

We need to start thinking about and understanding our partner’s needs. They are probably the exact same needs you married! Sometimes you have to put your partner’s needs before your own. And he must do the same.

Now boys here comes your part of the message. I know you are waiting for her to initiate. “Why do I have to always get the party started?” Many women, if not all, are just wired differently. Many struggle with low libido. Many factors can play a role in this issue. Stress, medications, hormones, self-esteem. Sometimes upbringing and messages she received early in life were faulty. In our minds, the fairytale ended with a kiss from the prince, not a hump! That being said, ladies, it’s time to update your thinking and make an effort to get to the root of the problem if one exists and if you are not interested in sex as a healthy woman, there IS a problem. And this problem deserves your immediate attention along with your husband. Don’t just stick your head in the sand. That’s not where your head should be!

Okay, boys, back to you. Here’s some more intel. We are a bit backwards. For many women, it is arousal that creates the desire, not the other way around. You guys have the desire and become aroused. For us, activity prompts desire. So stop waiting and make your move.

And another thing! Put the phone away. We are more connected to our phones than we are to our mates. Take the TV out of the bedroom. Don’t work in your bedroom. Leave the laptop outside of the bedroom. Don’t read a book. Read each other. Don’t make your bedroom a boardroom. Bedrooms are for sex and sleep only. Okay, you can talk, but mostly sleep and have sex. Go to bed together. Get up together. Take a shower together.

Lastly, ladies, if you need more motivation, research the health and beauty benefits of sex. Those alone are worth the effort! Do you really need both hands to stir that pot?

Get to humptying!